Co-Habitation

Definition of Co-habitation

1: to live together as or as if a married couple

Thanks you Webster for that brief definition.

I did mention something about how much I loathe cohabitation in my previous post. So as promised, I will share my thoughts and reasoning as to why.  I’ll begin by stating that I’m pretty sure I am partaking in this with the wrong person in addition to the fact that I grew up in a female dominated home. Let’s address the up-bringing since that came first.  My mother never remarried after losing her 2^nd husband (my Dad) to illness when I was just a precious 5 years young. So young that I hold no memories of said father although my mother promises me that despite his jealousy and womanizing ways he was a great man who loved me dearly. I feel loved so I believe it. We grew up n a Caribbean household (Haiti stand up...lol) filled with woman. Women cleaned, cooked, reared children, etc however they also threw the parties, paid most of the bills, and made all decisions that involved the household. My entire life I've been surrounded by women who were the delicate princesses and the ones to slay the dragon.  My obsession with books and Disney (Disney fooled us all....lol) conflicted with my up-bringing however I held firm to the belief that if there is anything that a "man" can bring to a woman, surely it is love. I mean surely! Imagine my surprise when as lady coming into age I discover that true love from a black man (no judgies....I can only speak on my experience) is as rare as a Parrot's beak (endangered flower) in the wild. Oh but I was determined. I mean young really. Met a handsome Jamaican Aquarius and fell head over heels!

And here comes in my first love a.k.a the current boyfriend. For all intents and purposes we'll refer to him as "TM" in loving memory of one of our many arguments in which we debated over the use of my reference to him as "this nigga" in a text message to a friend (Hi, Shareen!). Long story short we led a beautiful hood romance (babymama drama, I cheated, he cheated, but we love each other so much! kind of romance). Before long children followed so hey "Let's just move in together".  And it went a little something like this in the beginning....

Storm: I love you.

TN: I love you more.

Storm:Look at our son.

TN: We're such responsible parents.

Storm: Look at us.

TN: In-house (safe) sex is just the greatest.

Storm: Yes, it is

TN: I love so much.

Storm:No, I love you more. *insert barf moment here*

Then we graduated to this shortly there after.....

Storm: Um, television doesn't belong in the bedroom. Oh, so I have to fold your clothes too? Your baby mother has to meet you where? (not here!) Yes, my feet are always this cold. You didn't mind me not cooking before (pardon the double negative). Kingston (my cat) isn't going anywhere. Can you please put things back where they belong? You don't clean tubs?! Oooohh hell no!

TN: Um, did you say something babe?  *watches television*

So there you have it. I hate sharing my space. I don't like asking for things in my own home. I despise that "comfortable" feeling most men tend to adopt in live in relationships. These are personal problems though. And when you bring children into this world, your problems are just that...yours. TM and I have decided to take the old school approach. Stick it out as best we can for the sake of those beloved babies. Ugh, yes really. The advantages of a 2 parent/ 2 income home are invaluable. Coming from a single parent household, I can see the difference that a father's presence alone makes. My 4 year old son constantly measures out his confidence according to his father's feedback. Not to mention I couldn't get him to pee standing up for the life of me. Had to call big poppa in for that one (among many things). It's a fight to the death between our 13 month girls to see who gets jump in his arms first. It's not until he grabs them each that they finally settle down in order to keep the prize of an arm to snuggle up against.

College education has made me a fan of research and research shows.... *insert good things here*.

So we'll probably never make it down the wedding aisle but our children will be able to stand before society as productive citizens. So yes I hate co-habitation and perhaps I should have made wiser decisions as a young girl but I'm human. I've made mistakes I refuse to have my children pay the price for.  We're duking it out (well I am). Hope I make it out of this alive. Pray for me ya'll.