Thursday, September 29, 2016

Thin Mint (Dating Adventures)

So I met someone. We're going to call his Mr. Eight. As in After Eights. As in that's my favorite thin mint and this gentleman reminded me of the qualities needed to be my favorite thin mint. Chocolaty. Refreshing. Sweet. Thin. Like he himself was not really thin but because I simply do not know how to behave I discovered quite early that his chocolate really was a bit thin. Not that I'm hating on thin mints but  . . . whatever. Let's continue with my narration of the events that were to follow. He likes me. I'm intrigued by him. Which is good. Very few men men have the ability to entrance me upon first sight. It just doesn't happen. So intrigue is a good thing. Moving right along. He says the right words (which by the way is a dying art these days) and our text messages lead to a phone conversation which leads to video calls. And we talk for hours. Single guy. Attending medical school. Lives alone. No children and no future plans on having children. He was short and not what one would describe as handsome however he was desirable enough to make a woman look twice. Built solid. Although I'm not the 6 pack type, it's never a bad thing to have one. *smile* What I liked most about him was his mind. Yes, I'm that corny. *smile* We had each other running to google a couple of times I'm sure. Fact checking the shit out of each other. *nerd alert* That's sexy to me. Our conversations ran a special wave of randomness that I have a fondness for. He knew useless facts like I knew useless facts. He was...dare I say it? Weird. Weird like me weird. Just enough nerd. Just enough grittiness. It felt like talking to myself sometimes. He knew how to challenge me. Which is another art. How to stoke a fire without burning yourself or the town down. I can't fall in love with a man that hasn't mastered that skill. The day comes where we finally decided to meet each other. We settled for his apartment (big mistake...or was it really a mistake?) in the morning. I thought the morning would calm the tiger in me. FYI celibacy after virginity is not cute. Ciara and Russell are as mendacious as they come. Hmpf. Anyway, the morning comes and I drive over there. My first impression of him was that he was so little. Which he was not really nonetheless my mind has this nasty habit of sizing up and comparing various men I encounter. Nothing good or bad just little notes here and there. So there I was like damn, he's so little because you know like....I'm soooo big. *smile* He was sweet. Started off with an insider joke which broke the ice. His place was such a bachelor pad. Messy yet cozy. The flow between us continued only this time there was no distance between us. Mr. Eight could not keep his hands off me. And I could not keep the halo on my head. My dude was refreshing and chocolaty, remember? Still I tried to behave. And what ensued was a freaking high school session of tantalizing heavy petting. I would go into details but naaaahh.....A game of cat and mouse so to speak. It was during this time that my fingers accidentally fell onto his *ahem* package. The realization that the package was, uh, slimmer than I have ever encountered (because I have encountered soooo much...lol) sobered me up a bit. He noticed immediately. This sobered him too. Damn. We spoke about it. He thought I was judging what I had held in my hand and I had to explain that all of this was moving too fast. I have only been with one man the last 10 years and all this newness took some getting use to. So far he seemed skilled. Who knows what the future held? We may...may not take it there. He took this to mean that I was still in love with my ex-whatever he was and that's where my headache began. He lost that impressive ability to stoke a fire. He couldn't read my body language. He couldn't hear what I was saying apparently.  He was dwelling on my ex more than I ever did. This of course turned me all the way off. He tried to relieve the awkwardness but the moment was over. I left sooner rather than later and we haven't spoken since. Here's the kicker though. I sent him a text and he never answered back. I want to feel bad however the only emotion I can muster is "what a bitch!". And yes that is an emotion. I feel it deep within my heart. *smile* I'm just going to die a born again virgin ya'll. Until next time.....


Update: He it me up a couple of weeks later. He offered up some explanation about how I scared him and reminded him of who he used to be. Or something like that. You know that kindergarten stint where they treat you bad because they like you. Like really, really like you. I told him to go fuck himself and then I blocked him. Life goes on.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

A Year Post-Break Up

So. Where am I right now?  Growing. Living. Learning. Healing.  More in the past few months than I have in years. It's been a year. A year since I freed myself from a toxic relationship. I'm such a fighter I don't even realizing when I am battling myself. When I am battling God. I didn't want to leave the person I was with because I felt responsible for who they would become without me around to "mother" them. Looking back, I can now see it as a blessing that they pushed me away. Like far far away. *smile* As soon as I left, my heart and mind kind of slapped each other a high five. Doors just started opening for me. I looked in the mirror and said "Hi, I'm Storm. What a pleasure it is to finally meet you. What do you want to do now?". And my soul poured out all it has been longing for and then some. Some of the things I was aware of. Other things threw me for a loop! We are in for an adventure my friend. I wanted my own place (nicknamed "The Cavern") and got it. I wanted a new name so I went to court and got it. I wanted to become a vegan and I changed my diet accordingly. I wanted a job that would be closer to home and guess what? I went out and got that shit. Like damn, my power to manifest is on a hundred, thousand, billion! *Kanye voice* And for over a year I've been debating about whether or not to go blonde. Guess what I did? I went blonde motherfucker. Okay okay, let me reel in my inner rapper. I just feel like I can breathe again. Self work is not for the weak though. Taking the time to get to know yourself and make real decisions about the way you plan to live your life is a bit frightening not to mention enervatingsome days. Especially if your journey includes being a single mother to three small children. All this to say that I am so happy. So grateful. Every morning I rise, there is a smile on my face. This will sound odd however I feel like a newly wed. Whenever I hear my new last name I practically glow. And so now that it has been year, guess what my lickle Caribbean soul wants? A bae. I knoooooow. I never thought that I would actually want a boyfriend but I kind of do. I never had a boyfriend before. Yes. I have three children and I have never had a real boyfriend before. What do you do with them? *smile* It's partially my fault and I'll get into that in another post but the bottom line is I want to be valued by a strong and sexy member of the opposite sex. This is big. This is new for me. This wanting an actual relationship thing. Not a situation-ship. Not a jump off (who doesn't love a jump off???). Someone who feels like Ed Sheeran must have felt when he wrote the song "One". I love Ed Sheeran by the way. Anyway, I will now be actively dating. A scary venture for me however I'm positive my new manifestation powers will pull me through. I can't believe it. I just might be growing up. If Tan were here she would be cheering me on with pom poms and a whistle....lol. I might even buy an iron and a new wardrobe. Wish me luck although that's not necessary. I'm sure I'll find "the one".  I shall keep you updated.