Friends With Benefits

                  We are all adults here. It's the year 2014. Women are allowed freedom of sexual expression or rather women have come to demand it and therefore it is at least tolerated . We've come a long way as a society. One would like to believe. So it kills me (yes, I die a thousand times) when people lack the common sense it takes to comprehend a friends with benefits relationship. The mere name of the relationship takes the hard work of thinking so much out of the equation. 

Friends. It's a common noun. As in friends. As in someone you share a mutual bond of affection with. You like this person. You respect this person. How far you take this friendship is up to you. It doesn't have to come with matching tattoos, daily conversations and the periodic outing or two however it can. As friends you two are the ones responsible for assessing the dynamics of your relationship to the convenience of your lifestyle. This defines your friendship. And that is the beauty of it. This relationship is only used to service the needs of the parties involved. So you can make of it whatever you desire. Whenever you so desire. In my opinion, the best kinds of relationships are the ones that defines themselves. Hence my natural inclination towards relationships in which a tittle doesn't exist. Or has yet to anyway. So you got the friends part, right? I like you. You like me. We share mutual a interest(s) and respect. Pretty easy. Let's move forward.

With. Now "with" is a little tricky. A simple preposition. In this case used as a function to indicate a combination or an addition to. "Friends with". Let's explore that. That means that the friendship comes with or is combined with something that isn't usually a part of a normal friendship. Something that doesn't fall underneath the umbrella of the friend definition. Friends with attitudes. Friends with money. Friends with yadda, yadda, yadda.  Notice how the word friend comes first as this is an integral part of understanding the expectations of  the relationship you are now defining. Stay with me now. You can do this. 

Benefits. Mainly sex in this situation. Friendship doesn't usually cross into eroticism. However, there is this spark that you two agree exist between the two of you and so you make an adult decision to delve into this kind intimacy. This may include the possibility of mainstream romance (dead/dying flowers, love letters, jewelry, etc) or PDA (public displays of affection) or even a rightful seat at family functions. May is the word you wish to pay special attention to in that sentence. That means it does not have too. These decisions are up to all parties involved. Open communication is key to developing a definition that you two can agree on. One that can help solidify the foundation that your friendship is based on.

So there you have it. So simple, I know. Yet there are people who still manage to misunderstand this concept. So this right here is to further assist  those who suffer from this very incompetence. Be a friend, first. If you have trouble engaging in sexual behavior without the comfort of a tittle, this is not for you. If your honesty is dependent on the your partner's openness, this is not for you. If you are afraid to voice your opinion on what your wants and needs dictate, this is not for you. And that is okay. This type of relationship is not for everyone. Now go out there and make wiser decisions. I thank you.