Lately, I've been involved in a myriad of conversations surrounding the topic of domestic violence. And due to recent highlights in the media, the opinions of people weighing in on the subject of a man putting his hands on a woman can be heard everywhere. I am surprised to say that in the year 2014, many people agree with Whoopi Goldberg's sentiment that a female who agitates a man enough is deserving of physical reprisal from him. What really shocks me is that I hear this thought fall out of the mouths of mothers. Mothers of sons as well as daughters. Let's explore this. We can all agree that men and women are built differently. Men are inherently stronger than women. Traditionally for providing and protecting his family. I mean, I'm just throwing that out there. Women are more emotional and sensitive by nature. The very nature necessary to raise defenseless infants into independent adults that will contribute to society. The very nature needed to rear a boy into a strong man that provides and protects. And let me say here and now that I believe that neither party should be get a pass to hit the other. Man or woman. Period. I also believe that a huge part of being a man is choosing his mate wisely. Now that goes both ways however it seems I live in a society that hardly ever condemns a man for basing his choice for a partner solely on aesthetics. There are many times where it is clear that a female is violent yet a man continues to pursue her because she offers easy access to sexual stimulation and or because he finds her physically attractive. It's shallow. And guess what? You pay for irresponsible decisions the same way you reap rewards for wise one. I can't tell you how many times I've been told by a man that they knew their significant other was "crazy" before they were involved in a relationship and they still pursued them. They choose to stay and produce children in these dysfunctional relationships. Some find it humorous. Cute even. So they ignore the signs until a spark turns into an explosion. The violent tantrums that were once "cute" are no longer. Even now after they've ignored the obvious signs that the two were clearly incompatible, they still have a chance to save face and walk away. But they don't take that last opportunity. They get undignified and find a reason to hit her for being herself. Hilariously, this "bad bitch" generation that prizes women with violent attitudes actually points a finger at . . . you guessed it. The female. Makes perfect sense. Condemn the very behavior you encourage. People pass judgement based on what little they know and encourage the excuses these men pathetically exclaim. "She hit me first!" Sometimes the same men who would not tolerate any excuse for such violent exhibitions towards their own mother or daughter. But this woman who you chose voluntarily is somehow different because you put your dick inside of her. Hmmm. Perhaps as a society, we should be telling our sons and daughters to choose their company wisely. Teaching them what to look out for and how to diffuse a potentially violent situation instead of telling them that they are allowed to hit someone if the situation gets to extreme. A match doesn't light up on it's own. Whoopi saying her belief is justified because she doesn't hit anyone does nothing to protect our sons and daughters in the future. We are human. Tempers flare and self control is lost at times. If I were to ever go to my mother or son with a black eye gifted to me by my significant other and they asked me if I hit him first; I would die a thousand deaths (yes, I am that dramatic).. But seriously, it is best to advise someone on how to avoid placing themselves in situations in which conflict is likely to occur then to place blame on an isolated event or person. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. People say I'm a dreamer.
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