Fathers Day Weekend

My father's day weekend was hectic. My troop traveled to my hometown in New York City to join our family in celebration of the Baptismal of my twin daughters and niece. We partied as only Caribbeans can (lots of love, food, wine, and people) Saturday night. Sunday morning we shook off the fatigue as the sight of the Deacon blessing 3 beautiful girls into the Catholic faith sobered us. There was even a miracle. My son had only brief moments of misbehaving. Boy, was I shocked. I was anticipating a series of meltdowns at the least. This was the first time he has ever been this well behaved during a mass ceremony. It took awhile however I have come to the conclusion that it could only be one thing other than forces from up above. The men in attendance were dressed sharply and expressed impeccable manners throughout the ceremony (other than a few who nodded off here and there....yeah your secret is safe with me). *smile* No, really though my son adores the men in my family. He was inspired to behave like them because he recognizes the greatness in each one of them and aspires to be like them. After the ceremony we started up the grill back at the house. My son was excited to be among this throng of god-fathers, uncles, grandfathers, etc. I know these men and love each one in my own way. They also all possess qualities that one would find undesirable. And for the most part I know of at least one woman that  has been a recipient of  some of their ungodly behavior. I say all this to state the point that they are flawed yet they are still men. I'm a proud feminist. Being the offspring of a single mother, I can say that woman have an enormous well of strength in them. Some of us can do it all. However and this a big however doing it all is not ideal. Children need their fathers. Boys, especially need an army of men to exemplify and teach how to truly be men. At one point I deemed certain masculine characteristics innate however life experiences have led me to believe that manhood has to be taught. And there are things that only a man can teach. To the women who have been hurt and hold bitterness in their heart, I implore you to find forgiveness for the sake of your children. He may not have held up to your expectations. Lied. Cheated. Refuses to pay child support. Etc. If he decides to be in your child(ren)'s life and he doesn't pose a threat to their safety of course.....let him be a father. And trust I've had my share of disappointments with the opposite sex. This includes the father of my own children (don't get me started....lol). But those disappointments are my own; not my children's. My son holds his father in high esteem because their relationship is their own. My daughters believe that their father is King, not because of the rent that gets paid or the groceries that are bought but because of the love that he gives to them. Simple as that. Let your child(ren) form their own opinions. I cannot begin to list the multitudinous amount of men who have been invaluable assets to my mother, my sister and myself despite being labeled terrible fathers by the families who they've actually donated genetic material to. The same goes for my son. I've heard people speak ill of men who have patiently taught him a game or read him a book. All he knows of them is love. Love is love. Whether from a drunkard or a world leader. Sometimes the best thing that you can do  for your child is to allow them their father's presence. Your relationship with him does not determine the relationship with his children. Last time I checked abortion in this country is still legal. So is adoption. So whether you care to hear it or not you decided to partake in this journey of parenthood with this person. Let your child(ren) have the good that their father can give. However diminutive it may be. If someone gives you a dollar, is it not still money that they gave you? Is money not still a good thing? Same goes for love. Be it a little or a lot. Let them have it. And for the deadbeats it is never too late.  Let go and let God. Happy Father's Day to all.