Please excuse the dejected expression. I was actually in a pleasant mood when this photo was captured....Lol. This picture was taken right after I received the ink work. When she was alive my best friend and I planned to get each others names tatted on modest areas of our bodies for thee longest time. We were overly sentimental like that. Tan was adamant about living life on her terms and enjoying it to the fullest. At the time I was working overtime to put myself through college and assist my mother in whatever financial shortage she was going through. I couldn't comprehend the urgency in which she lived her life. "We will get them" I would reply in acute exasperation. It was one of many plans I would postpone. I delayed these "Carpe Diem" tendencies because I was concentrated on working towards an abstract future. One in which I could establish a lucrative career and then travel the world in search of adventure with her. My childhood experiences with financial struggle demanded that I lay the foundation for a secure future first. We didn't share similar socioeconomic backgrounds so I didn't think she understood my point of view. After she passed I tried to remain focused on my goals. I foolishly believed that I could postpone the grieving process as well. Well anyway the tattoo was the first step I took in "not waiting" for this abstract future of mine and just living in the moment. I thought of how badly we wanted these tattoos. How much it meant to her. Kicked myself a little for not doing it when she was here. For not acknowledging the wisdom in her wild ways. So I went and got her name on my wrist on a whim. And although it's my smallest one it is my favorite tattoo. It means a lot to me. To this day it serves to remind me of her and one of the many life lessons that her death has taught me. Enjoy life everyday. Don't save it all for that "one day" dream. Such a simple message yet I missed it back then. I now serve to honor that motto every chance I get.
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