Spoiled vs. Blessed

spoil verb (used with object), spoiled or spoilt, spoiling.

1. to damage severely or harm (something), especially with reference to its excellence, value, usefulness, etc.: The water stain spoiled the painting. Drought spoiled the corn crop.

2. to diminish or impair the quality of; affect detrimentally: Bad weather spoiled their vacation.

3. to impair, damage, or harm the character or nature of (someone) by unwise treatment, excessive indulgence, etc.: to spoil a child by pampering him.

bless verb (used with object), blessed or blest, blessing.

1. to consecrate or sanctify by a religious rite; make or pronounce holy.

2. to request of God the bestowal of divine favor on: Bless this house.

3. to bestow good of any kind upon: a nation blessed with peace.

4. to extol as holy; glorify: Bless the name of the Lord.

5. to protect or guard from evil (usually used as an interjection): Bless you! Bless your innocent little heart!

          At this point in my blog if you don't know how I feel about my children than the neurons in your brain are firing off much too slowly my dear. You might want to seek professional assistance for that. *smile* Seriously though, parenthood is a duty to be taken most conscientiously. Parents are literally raising the future generation. You cannot get more serious than potentially raising the mind that may one day cure cancer or spark the revolution that ends world hunger. Also, I have excellent examples as I come from a long line of women who served as phenomenal providers and care takers. Memories of my own childhood serve as a constant source of inspiration to improve the quality of my children's lives. As a black Caribbean woman, I owe it to my ancestors who could only dream of the opportunities I am able to award my children with now. In short, I know better so I do better. Let's not forget close friends and family that have passed and also serve a different kind of inspiration to live life honorably and to the fullest. Lately however, some people that are somewhat familiar to the way that I mother have expressed concern about me spoiling my children. This is not a new allegation. Simply responding to my crying infant has depicted me as a mother who spoils her child in the minds of many. When I ask for the definition of spoiled, many come up empty. In my humble opinion, the word spoiled has been misconstrued with the word blessed way too often. Nothing I do (definition of spoiled incoming) damages or harm the character or the nature of my children. It is my every intention to (definition for blessed incoming) protect and guard my children from evil. To request of God the bestowal of divine favor on them. To bestow good of any kind on them. This is something I can never apologize for. My son and I almost lost our lives for his entry into this world. And the pain and sacrifices my body had to endure to bring my daughters unto being safely still makes me shiver to this day. They are blessings and they are to be blessed. The reasons people find to say my children are spoiled are invalid. Those reasons don't apply to the definition of spoiled at all.
 I don't spank my children. Not completely against that type of disciplinary action however it has no place in my home. I was introduced to that type of violence as a child and it did nothing but confuse me and make me violent myself. This is my experience and as usual I can only speak for my experience. Never mind the historical aspect of slaves having to savagely beat their children so that the cruel owners wouldn't kill them for you know.....being children. I know (and have dated) adults that have trouble following simple directions so to be moved to violence by the action of a child seems ludicrous. Counterproductive even. There are so many other forms of discipline. They are blessed to have a patient and understanding mother. 
I buy toys for my children. Things that aide in developing their minds and motor skills. And yes, sometimes useless trinkets that only serve to make their eyes sparkle. I mean, I'm creative enough to make those educational too but really sometimes it's just because. There is no television in our home. We do have a DVD player and access to YouTube. Without a television to hypnotize them for hours on end, toys are kind of necessary. Just a healthy and safe way to guide their playtime. Things to engage their curiosity and imagination. If time allows we're in the park everyday. Nature has a therapeutic effect on our psyche. It's a drug you can't overdose on. Why not? *smile* They are blessed to be on the receiving end of such a stimulating environment. 
I do not unnecessarily force my children into uncomfortable situations or environments. God has been good to me. I have a knack for details and the good fortune of time to dedicate to them. I watch my children and anticipate their needs before they are able to articulate them to me. As a child I was apprehensive. I recall many situations that I was forced into in the name of tradition or societal pressure. As an adult I can laugh at some of the memories but as a child the anxiety was very real. It has shaped who I am as an adult. So if my child doesn't want to kiss an adult upon greeting (a popular Haitian tradition), they don't have to. If my child doesn't like birthday parties, guess what? They don't have to go. If my child wants to wear their hair in it's God given kinky Afro form, they can wear it out. Even in public. I know. I know. The horror....*smile* 
The end game here is healthy and happy people. Because they are also people, right? My check list is fairly simple. 

• Health is wealth
• Honor your family & roots
• Mommy cannot afford to raise fools (read, read & read again...lol)

That's it. Maybe I'll add more but for now we're good. For now we're happy and healthy. I work really hard for all that we have. And my goodness, the Trio are an incredible group of children. They don't live life on easy street at all. I am very blessed. I choose to pass those blessings down. Who better to than my own children?