Jaded

So yesterday was a such a gorgeous day that I took the trio to the pool. Due to an inaccurate read of the chemical testing of the water, the kiddie pool was off limits. This placed a nice little damper on my day. Although there was a life guard on duty, the idea of watching over two, 2 year old girls and a 5 year old boy play in a large pool of water seemed daunting. They were so anguished by the elimination of the kiddie pool that I decided that we would try the big pool out. If only for a moment. Their squeals of joy led the way. There was only one other family there. Two older ladies (Caucasian...you will see why this is significant to your knowledge later in this tale) with a 9 year old little girl. The little girl warmed up to my son immediately. She was unbelievably sweet and patient with my rough and tumble son. I have yet to knock learning how to swim off of my bucket list, so I was extremely nervous in my approach to entertaining the trio in this vast stretch of water. None of them knew how to swim. LP had his life vest on (he loves that thing) yet still I recently indulged in an article on the statistics of dry drowning and this did not help my overprotective nature. So we struggled as they had to take turns with me on the deep side. C didn't mind. She was more than satisfied to play by her lonesome on the steps of the pool. My girl. LP and P 2.0 were more adventurous. They were trying to jump in the pool whenever they deemed me taking too long with the other (heart attack inducing might I add). It was quite a tango. Even with the little girl entertaining LP, our fun was restricted. The eldest of the 2 older ladies came over and introduced herself as the grandmother. She asked if she could take one of the girls off of my hand as she reached to play with P 2.0. P 2.0 held on to me tightly in protest which matched my mood to habitually say thanks but no thank you. C on the other hand reached for the lady with such enthusiasm I changed my mind about saying no. The grandmother's face lit up and the two began to play like they've known each other forever. She taught C how to kick her feet and other beginner swimming tricks. They played water games and their simultaneous laughter was infectious. We were all laughing in no time. I reveled in the ability to play with the other two in a much more engaging manner. We were having such a grand time. Soon the time came to leave. A lump formed in the back of my throat as feelings of gratitude overwhelmed me. I thanked her and said my goodbyes. As I left I felt embarrassed that the moment evoked such an emotional response in me. I reflected on the moment and what I was really feeling (self  reflection is a daily thing...lol) and my conclusion stunned me. It dawned on my that the kindness from the grandmother at the pool actually surprised me. I partake in a plethora of activities with the trio. We live for community outings. Sadly, we are usually the only brown faces at such events. My son and I have locs in our hair. The girls sport corn braids or a curly afro. Between LP's big spirit and the girls' identical faces, we stand out. In my personal experience the Caucasian mothers at these events tend to study us with apprehensive eyes. I have even had some shy their children away from mine (not an often occurrence but I take notes). I'm not blind to the society that I live in so I just smile broadly and carry on exploring with my three. But it has happened often enough for me to begin shying away from them. I hadn't notice. The grandmother at the pool kind of shocked me back into reality. It wasn't just that she helped me out by playing with my baby. In that moment it was just one mother helping another. I found it so rare to experience an act so free of ill motive that it moved me to tears. That simple concept of "they aren't all the same". Of course I know this intrinsically. I teach it all of the time. It's so easy to display behavior expressed to you without your awareness of even taking it on. I was jaded and this moment straightened me out. I was about to tell her no even though I needed an extra pair of hands because I judged her without even knowing her. I am so blessed and grateful for her compassionate gesture. And I had so much fun that I forgot to take a picture.....lol.  I'm still growing and learning and loving in this life.