My Tongue is a Weapon (poem)

I don't mean to walk around armed
But I've run into so many people who have caused me harm
And I suppose it's partially charm
The way I fly into these beings, the allure is so strong
I shrivel up for them like raisin in the sun
I make myself appear smaller so that they think that they've won
But some people want more
They are out for your blood
And only when it goes that far
do I pull it out slow and long
My tongue
make words beat like a drum
Make them feel my fire
All the hurt, all the wrong
It unleashes my fury
My tongue
Be a blade
Meticulous; unworried
The way it behaves
My tongue
delivers hurt in a variety of ways
If pushed that far
it carves and it craves
retribution upon the soul of the source of the pain
And there is no apologizing for the things that I say
I meant every single word
Every verb
Every phrase
Satisfaction only felt
when destruction is made
I have been known to hurt myself
to see to it they pay
My tongue is not one to play
Toying with my emotions is a perilous game

Compromise

Guy: Can anyone live with Eartha Kit?

She: It’s not for me to decide. That’s for someone who decides to live with me to decide. Not for me.

Guy: But are you willing to compromise? Within a relationship

Compromise? What is compromising? Compromise for what? Compromising for what reason? To compromise? For what? To compromise? What is compromise?

Guy: If a man came into your life, wouldn't you want to compromise?

She: *raises eyebrows* *laughs* Stupid. *laughs again* A man comes into my life and I have to compromise? You must think about that one again. *throws her head back and laughs even more*A man comes into my life and you have to compromise? For what? For what? For what? A relationship is a relationship that has to be earned! Not to compromise for. And I love relationships, I think they’re fantastically wonderful, I think they’re great, I think there’s nothing in the world more beautiful than falling in love. But falling in love for the right reason, falling in love for the right purpose. Falling in love. Falling in love! When you fall in love, what is there to compromise about? 

Guy: Isn't love a union between two people? Or does Eartha, fall in love with herself?

She: I think if you want to think about it in terms of analyzing; yes. I fall in love with myself and I want someone to share it with me. I want someone to share me with me. 


My thoughts: I watch this interview about once a week...lol. I love her style and those words couldn't ring truer for me. I don't want to compromise. The love I have is enough to keep my soul-mate and I very happy. Whoever that is at the moment. His desires should be nothing for me to fulfill and vice versa. But you are reading the words of a girl who's soul is still stuck in another century so never mind me. *smile* 

Claim It

          The art of claiming something was lost to me for the longest. It was a term I would hear a lot about in church and from other people of various faith. To claim something meant to state ownership over a blessing that you were most certain that God and or the universe would send your way. It is more than cockiness or "swag". It's a way of putting so much energy into faith that you just know that whatever you are praying for will be delivered to you. I believed in God. I prayed and honored my ancestors. I found the good in every situation I was in however I never laid claim to anything. Day in and day out, I simply ate whatever was dished out on my plate. Systemic poverty, fleeting moments of joy, a lack of quality black men, etc. The community I was surrounded by aided me in confusing a drive for more with ingratitude. As a fatherless daughter to a Haitian immigrant mother my status in life was better off than many other people I knew and therefore I was blessed and needn't more than what life had already handed to me. My path in life could have been greatly enriched had I only made attempts to explore and desire more. You see, I was comfortable. Too comfortable. So comfortable that whenever my heart found the strength to show interest in something that would take me out of that comfort zone, my mind would find a million and one reasons why that interest was of little importance. Why comfort over growth served me more. And once again I had more than enough loved ones to assist me with this false notion. The heart, however, is a mysterious force of nature and most stubborn when denied the very things it beats for. With the birth of my son my heart grew stronger each day. Motherhood can be such an empowering journey. I mean, I became a beast. There was a quality of life that I was willing to deny myself yet when it came to my son the idea seemed ludicrous. Absolutely farcical. That little guy encouraged me more in 6 months than I have been encouraged in my entire life. Slowly these "interests" turned into productive conversations with the right people; which then led to research projects. This is where the art of claiming kicked in. Research can be overwhelming yet I can never walk into anything blindly. So I would see what I want, look at the price tag and then walk away; dejected. This was a tough habit to break. So I looked into people that inspired me. I read their stories (to this day biographies and autobiographies are my favorite genre) and studied their persona. I was always made aware of my weirdness. But I was a mother now and so my heart was so free my love was unapologetic. I read about and studied people who lit a fire in me. Harriet Tubman. Maya Angelou. Toni Morrison. Malcolm X. Frederick Douglass. Martin L. King. Jean Leopold Dominique. My mom. Kanye and his mother (the old Kanye, I swear). Tupac.  Toussaint L'ouverture. Justin Timberlake. Sister Soulja. Etc. And the one thing about my heroes that spoke to me was the ability to "claim it". To be able to approach a dream like a lion does a prey. To say that there is mine and I WILL have it. I am an obedient servant. God wouldn't place this feeling in my heart if I wasn't meant to have it. And so it is mine even though I am not in possession of it yet. And that my friend is all that I was missing to make the necessary changes that would create dramatic improvements in the lives of myself and my children. Martin L. King said it best with this quote. 

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase"

My analytical mind was working against me because I would not make a move without vision of the entire staircase. Faith and blessings are not pretty little equations that you can always make sense of. And so with my faith renewed, I spoke my blessings into existence. It's a wonder how I could feel like I was born to write yet find the power in words so late in life. There is so much power in the spoken word. I said I don't know how I'm going to do it however my son will have access to a better school system than this. He's going to have his own room. We will live in an area with less crime. Looks like we're going to be on our own so he will have a sibling (spoke that too much into existence...lol). And it didn't stop there. Even when people said that it was enough. My life was wonderful. I said I will have a job with a higher salary. Another room for my girls. A man with higher standards. Acceptance of my natural beauty. I will reject any consumption of flesh. And still I don't know much about "hows" however I claim these blessings because I believe in the law of attraction. How just saying the words will pour the energy behind my requests into the universe. So I will encourage you as well. Whatever your dreams are. Verbalize those vibrations. Let the universe hear you. Claim it!